Life update

The last thing I want to do is to disappoint my 2 subscribers to this blog, so I am called today to give a brief life update. What does one write in a blog to give a life update? It is difficult to find the border between triviality and depth even though I always liked to observe how the conversations switch from one thing to another. What I know for sure is that I am always excited to talk about feelings, musings, and deeper meanings. But it should not be too much, it should stay within the unexplainable boundaries of normality. So you see, it is difficult - where is the border between meaningless mundain and meaningful depth? I don’t want to even think of what will happen if I click on the button somewhere top right here that says ‘improve your text with AI’. I might only see the long dashes added to my text and click on publish without reading it.

Anyways, I love writing, I used to write diaries, journals and poems since I was a teenager. Couple of years ago my father brought my old diaries all the way from Kyrgyzstan to the Netherlands because he was moving houses and decided to give them back to me. I took them back with a brief smile saying ‘oh, thanks!’ Like it was an apple or piece of bread, but in fact I was already horrified by one mere look at them and by what might be written there. I didn’t read anything back myself, just put it in a box and closed it. Please don’t think I was writing some criminal records there - it’s mostly all about my first loves, silly heartbreaks and a lot of drama which I don’t even want to re-read myself.

To make this post somewhat useful I want to share my recent find - morning pages. Julia Cameron invented morning pages in the beginning of nineties when I was about 3 years old, so don’t blame me for being so late to discover it (and please do not try to calculate my age on this sentence). I heard about morning pages a alot though, but I never thought it would be useful for me since as I said - I always journaled. However morning pages is not journaling - you need to write 3 pages every morning no matter what. Don’t search for words, don’t read back - just write, with pen and paper. (My ‘usual’ journaling was actually beautiful writing on weekends.)

I started my morning pages on June 4th (I got the book on June 3 for my birthday) and so far I managed to write almost every day, however not always in the morning. It’s different than the journaling I used to do, cause I just write whatever comes and often it’s nothing meaningful but what’s important is that feeling afterwards. It gives clarity to my thoughts, lets me pause in the morning instead of running immediately for things to do, and yes it brings ideas. Julia Cameron advised this method to actually unblock creative’s creativity. So give it a try if you want to unblock yourself.

As to the promised life update (in my own way), I want to share recent thoughts/discoveries/inspirations in a short bullet point manner so everyone can stay efficient and not have to waste too much time reading it:

• I have a pregnant friend and today I spoke to her. She said “Wow it’s such a wonder to have a baby, to grow a baby in your belly. Why does no one talk about it?” So I will honour her desire and I am going to talk about it. Yes it totally is the biggest wonder of this world, and my latest realisation that this wonder doesn’t stop when the baby becomes a toddler or a teenager. It never stops. We are all living and walking wonders. Treat yourselves and others like one. Be more compassionate to yourselves and to others.

• Transitioning from 9-5 to a freelance job takes months. You know that you started a transition when you notice lingering worried feeling every day around 9 am about things that you might have to do (it doesn’t matter if you actually have things to do). You know that transition is successful when you are able to work on the weekend and relax big time on Monday without really planning it.

• Every end is the beginning of something new. If you want new things in your life, clean up some space for these new things to enter. It can be as literal as cleaning up closets or it can be as abrupt as ending old habits to start new ones. Just try to end something that you don’t need anymore and see what happens next. If you have something new entered your life, take a moment to appreciate it and think of what it might just end?

• Becoming an entrepreneur while never really planning to be one is a scary thing. Everything is new, and everything is out of your comfort zone. You learn every day and you face many fears. Fear of being seen, I guess. All failures are visible, all successes are visible.

• I promised to not make it too long. I will end this by recent books I read that I would recommend:

We All Should Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Actually this was the book that was followed by many other feminists books I read lately (thank you Kindle suggestions) but this one I really want to highlight. Especially if you are planning on having kids, or you are pregnant. I wish I read it before I did all that (no more spoilers here). Also, have a look at A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions from the same author if you like the first book.

The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh. As a big fan of Eckhart Tolle, first I thought it would be a bit similar to the Power of Now but I was amazed by the depth the simple sentences can bring. I loved how this book left me with a feeling about how everyone and everything is connected on this Earth and in cosmos. Lovely. Now reading Anger by the same author but not progressing because of Bridget Jones.

Bridget Jones by Helen Fielding. If you know me a little bit, you know that I read several books at the same time and I read a lot. Recent buy at a Kringloop shop (second hand/circularity stores in the Netherlands) - all books about Bridget except for the latest one in English. Second day feeling very unproductive because can’t stop reading this book and laughing out loud every now and then (this is also something I enjoy in my new ‘freelance’ life - freedom to read whenever I want to). Perfect read to laugh and smile and remember (in my case) the glorious days of life as a single woman. I don’t have to say much about this book I guess.

If you like this blog, let me know!